Bringing The Monster With Us (On Vacation)

I am in a typical east coast, rocky, marshy, buggy, bustling beach vacationing town. And in the worst time to visit possible… dead smack in the middle of summer. This place is filled with families. Families that are trying to escape the city I would assume. Yet the pace is faster than rush hour in Shanghai (I exaggerate). The restaurant offerings are bland, boring, and childish at best. And the game and family activities seem to drone on a theme of mindlessness custom built for the seeker of mindlessness. And thousands are here to partake in this phenomenon! Ok, enough judgment and subjectivity, I do apologize.

It would seem logical to me that the word vacation would evoke a calm, quiet, special “me” time. What urges us to seek crowded areas? Is it the landscape? i.e.- We all love water in the summer and beach towns happen to be crowded during the summer. Is it being around people? Oh yes, we seem to do so well with this in our normal day life (that’s sarcasm), why not find it on vacation? It seems we completely miss the need to be with ourselves… quietly. I find so many people self-righteously using the term, “I have to keep my mind occupied so my head stays straight.” It is as though the mind is this evil thing that must be fed or it will run rampant and destroy us. No wonder we live in constant fear. We create these habits by our chosen perspectives. For such a brave, prideful country we seem to fear stillness as though it is a cancer that will destroy us. We adapt to the franticness so much that calm, clarity, and relaxation become the enemy. Most people do not even sleep well. Too much down time I suppose. There are times I am in a public place, and literally do nothing but observe. I either stand or sit in an inconspicuous area observing myself, and my surroundings. 9 out of 10 times I get a look of strangeness from anyone walking by. A sort of distain like, “You seem threatening! What’s your agenda?” or “Find something to do!” I am, and I am doing it. How am I less productive than a random errand that you, for whatever reason, make ultra substantial? Or a board game with the family? As if those lessons in Monopoly money will set the CEO path of your child in motion. I find the miniature golfers, and card game families to mistake mental masturbation to productivity and connection. Are we fearing what we may find if we listen to ourselves? It’s the monster in the dark syndrome transferred into adult life. You know, the monster is there and when you turn on the light he’s gone! Same thing… if I keep mentally distracted, no monster. Stop for a minute, monster appears. There is no monster. Really there is no dark or light. There is you and there was only you. There will only be you. You will always be there. You are actually there now. And “you” are who you are always minding even if your Uno game is on fire at the moment. How about resting and listening to the “you” that is giving you life?