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I’d say I’m intrigued or rather obsessed with the notion of love and hate in relationships. Loving a partner, loving a business colleague, loving an enemy. From time to time (very rarely actually) as a cruel trick to myself I’ll pop open Facebook and read every single post. The random daily tasks that others think we’re all interested in, the pontification of views that shouldn’t be spewed out. The notion of someone bragging about his or her success in one way or another. I do this because I shouldn’t be responding as poorly as I do. I challenge myself to read into the personalities of others (or the image they want me to believe) and use my response to trigger my own self-growth. For instance, seeing the adornment of someone whom I feel has degenerate moral stances. My first response is always jealous, bitter, and angry, and generally furious at the cosmic spin of things. But this test is perfect in challenging a spiritual view of causality. I first want to understand why I am so affected by this and why a point of acceptance seems so distant. This internal dialogue and exploration is to me what truly creates freedom in my own path. No doubt the easiest method is to shut out the negative catalyst. Do not open Facebook! But I seem to be of the character of running to the fire than away from it. I don’t know why I am like this. Perhaps where there is the most heat and light there is the most universal energy. I do know that the biggest conflicts in us bring about the greatest transformation, and perhaps my need to progress while in this body drives me more than any material goal. Perhaps I’m full of shit and I’m just looking for trouble. Either way it’s an opportunity for internal promotions. I find it interesting those those that move up the corporate ladder seem to rarely transform internally, they just seem to get better at attaining material power. And those who work internally seem to live more humble lives with little to no material power. Yes Hollywood would have us believe otherwise, as all those successful actors and rock stars inspirationally develop their internal journey… Sure, it makes sense once all possible material goals have been not only achieved but also well surpassed. Fair enough. Better late than never. Ultimately this shows me that we are all lead to one place in the end. Me. Or the lack of me. Or the need to be me. Or I’m sick of me. Or me as the source of me.

Now back to loving a partner… I once heard someone say relationships are not reliable, work is. I find that notion honest and intriguing. But does this mean that the work of a relationship is reliable? Yes, clearly other human beings are not responsible for your happiness. But if “I” am than I surely can be responsible for my role in any relationship. We love than we hate. We convince ourselves that nothing can go wrong in some relationships and then does. We assume other relationships are unreliable then we end up creating the greatest partnerships with those people. What does it all mean? It means things evolve in every direction. People turn ugly to us as our perspective views them as such. So when I look at that “enemy” on Facebook who is being adored and I dread him/her for it, I rewind my focus to the start of our relationship whatever it may have been, and I think what direction I travelled in from then to now. I take responsibility for my choices and direction, as well as my feelings in the moment. I remain present and simply connect the dots of causality as to why he/she and I is where we are right now. The now that is constantly evolving. Make no mistake of an indelible truth- Change is constant so you can bet we will be taking turns at the top of the totem pole. It all comes around in the end… it always does and always did, yet we constantly doubt it as if we never experienced it. Perhaps we need to pay more attention?